


Singlish Singapore

by Susarian



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-07-23 19:52:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 7,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16165832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Susarian/pseuds/Susarian
Summary: I am totally sick and tired of hearing people saying Singlish is adding lah in every sentence. Singlish is a creole language with its own set of rules that differ greatly from English (UK standard)!In this few stories, there will be scenarios where Singapore saying Singlish with other nations, mostly with Malaysia since Manglish is very similar with Singlish.





	1. chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am totally sick and tired of hearing people saying Singlish is adding lah in every sentence. Singlish is a creole language with its own set of rules that differ greatly from English (UK standard)!  
> In this few stories, there will be scenarios where Singapore saying Singlish with other nations, mostly with Malaysia since Manglish is very similar with Singlish.

At ASEAN club room, Singapore is staring intensely at her computer screen showing horror movie. As the movie reaches its climatic part, a voice suddenly said from behind.

“Seriously, this movie is so third rated.” The voice yawned which Singapore screamed at the top of her lungs.

She quickly turned around only to find Thailand just behind her also watching the movie.

“你吃玻璃长大的啊! (directly translated to: you eat glass grow up one ah!)” Singapore screamed.

“Huh?” Thailand looked at Singapore with confusion.

**Author note: Eat glass is a metaphor coming from the Chinese way of saying it,** **吃玻璃, which** **吃 means eat while** **玻璃 means glass. It is kind of saying that you are transparent, and people do not feel your existence. Kind of like Canada thinks of Canada as a person who eats glass since he is always forgotten.**

**So, in this case, Singapore is so engrossed in her movie that she did not realise Thailand existence and when she realised it, she shouted this sentence. (Oh my god, my English grammar sucks : ()**


	2. chapter 2

“Ta boleh tahan ah. (I cannot stand it ah. **_*This is a Malay colloquial*_** )” Singapore said to Malaysia.

“Please, just help me finished this.” Malaysia pleaded.

“Why?” Singapore said.

“Because I have something important. Just helped me finished this.” Malaysia said.

“I can’t lah. My schedule is so full that I can’t cope with it anymore.” Singapore said.

“Please lah.” Malaysia pleaded.

“I cannot ah.” Singapore said.

“Please~” Malaysia said with her puppy eyes.

“Please sister.” Malaysia said which Singapore immediately fall for it.

“Then I zao (Teochew or Hokkien word for ‘go’) already ah.” Malaysia said happily as she walked out of the club room.

“Why did I tank (in this context it means ‘why did I agree to do her workload.’)?” Singapore said as she looked at the pile of work in front of her.

**Author note: Guess Malaysia decided to leave her workload to Singapore to do which Singapore agrees to it. ~.~.**


	3. chapter 3

Can can can:

"You sure this will work?" Singapore asked Malaysia who present her an instant Mee Rebus (I know this is available in both countries, but I can't think of anything else now!)

"Can lah." Malaysia said with confidence.

"Can meh?" Singapore asked with doubts.

"Can one." Malaysia said with her usual confidence.

"Can ah?" Singapore said as she pours in hot water into the bowl with instant Mee Rebus and covers it.

After a few minutes, the aroma starts filling the room.

"Can ya!" Singapore explained as she takes out her chopsticks and starts eating which Malaysia immediately snatched it away from her, but half the bowl of Mee Rebus was gone.

**AUTHOR NOTE: WHY DID I EVEN WRITE THIS WHEN IT'S SO FREAKING HARD TO EXPLAINED! Anyway, this story actually showcases the ending word used which we used it to describe our feeling and emotions IN JUST ONE WORD!**

**There are a lot of endings in Singlish and Manglish and this is just a few of them. Lah and lor are the most commonly used and most well known one, but there are also meh, one, ah, eh, ya, hor and many more.**

**So, in this story, Malaysia and Singapore just used can and the endings as their dialogues which most people may not understand but the ending and the TONE (This is the most important one!** **and probably body gesture.** **) used actually convey the message straight away to the person. The endings are very hard to explain as it all depends on context and you need practice. So, I have written a story about it in UK English standard.**


	4. chapter 3 (UK standard)

Can can can (UK English standard):

"You sure this will work?" Singapore asked Malaysia who present her an instant Mee Rebus (I know this is available in both countries, but I can't think of anything else now!)

"Yup, I'm pretty sure it can," Malaysia said with confidence.

"Really?" Singapore asked with doubts.

"Of course," Malaysia said with her usual confidence.

"You sure about this?" Singapore said as she pours in hot water into the bowl with instant Mee Rebus and covers it.

After a few minutes, the aroma starts filling the room.

"It really does work!" Singapore exclaimed as she takes out her chopsticks and starts eating which Malaysia immediately snatched it away from her, but half the bowl of Mee Rebus was gone.

**AUTHOR NOTE: Hopefully I don't need to write a UK English standard story from the previous story filled with Singlish and probably Manglish.**


	5. chapter 4

Ang moh:

"Malaysia, Indonesia which ang moh do you think looks the most yandao (yandao means handsome in Hokkien)?" Singapore asked.

"I understand yandao, but what is ang moh?" Indonesia asked.

"Whites," Malaysia replied before thinking back about Singapore question.

"Wait ah, let me check my list of contacts who are ang moh," Malaysia said as she takes out her phone which Singapore eyes immediately was grabbed by the screen wallpaper.

"Wah! Is that Mexico!" Singapore exclaimed which immediately garnered Indonesia attention.

"Show me Malaysia!" Indonesia exclaimed as she quickly grabbed Malaysia phone which Malaysia narrowly dodged it.

"I don't know your secret love is Mexico," Singapore said with a hint of kay poh (Kay poh means nosy).

"No! My screen wallpaper is set to randomly shows a picture in my album whenever I on my phone!" Malaysia exclaimed.

"And stop being so kay poh!" Malaysia snapped.

"Indo." Singapore said.

"Yes Sing?" Indonesia asked which Malaysia has a really bad feeling about it. Both Indonesia and Singapore would address each other as their name in full rather than addressing it in a shortened version which means both are planning to do something together.

"You pinned her down while I grabbed her phone!" Singapore exclaimed which Indonesia immediately jumped onto Malaysia.

Malaysia immediately bent down to dodge it and run towards the door only to be tripped by Singapore foot due to not paying attention to the surrounding. (Seriously in such situation, who will pay attention to the surrounding.)

"Indo, I pinned her down, quickly grabbed her phone now!" Singapore exclaimed as she struggles to stop a struggling Malaysia from escaping her clutches.

"Great job Singapore!" Indonesia exclaimed as she swiftly takes Malaysia phone from her hand.

She on the phone which it turns out to be a photo of India.

"…You serious, Malaysia." Indonesia said it speechlessly as she swings the phone in front of the two girls.

"I never know you like this type of guys," Singapore said while thinking back about her sister preference.

"I told you my wallpaper is set to randomly shows a picture in my album whenever I on my phone!" Malaysia exclaimed which she finally struggles free from Singapore clutches.

She tried to grab back her phone which Indonesia swiftly dodged it and off and on Malaysia phone again.

"Oh, the photo change," Indonesia said.

"See! I told you! Now give me back my phone!" Malaysia exclaimed as she tried to grab her phone from Indonesia hands, but Indonesia just swiftly dodged it again and quickly run towards Singapore.

"Singapore looked, which photo did it shows us." Indonesia smirks which Singapore face turns red immediately.

"You sure is a pure one!" Indonesia laughed which Malaysia has a really, really bad feeling about it.

"Malaysia," Singapore said in all seriousness.

"I know you're in your difficult age, but please reconsider your options," Singapore said with a heavy sighed.

"Your hell!" Malaysia exclaimed before she finally saw the photos the two girls saw. It is a half-naked man with extraordinary man physique, to makes matter worst, that person just so happens to be the USA!

"…" Malaysia was totally speechless by it. True she and USA are good friends, but they are not that closed as though they are lovers.

"This…this is the event that happens on the… April fool… of 2011 where US is dressed as such. I… I thought it's very interesting, so…so I take… a photo about it." Malaysia said stuttering her words.

"Sounds suspicious," Indonesia said.

"Believe me or not!" Malaysia exclaimed as she finally snatched back her phone.

"Anyway, don't tell anyone about this," Malaysia said with a wicked look on her face.

"Don't worry, we won't tell anyone, right Indonesia?" Singapore said to Indonesia with a smile.

"Yup," Indonesia replied enthusiastically with a big smile.

Just one minute later…

"Indonesia, Singapore! I'll kill you!" Malaysia exclaimed as she runs towards them with her rifles on her hand.

"Huh?" Singapore said with confusion as she looked at Malaysia who is totally ready to kill her.

"I'm going to go now, see ya!" Indonesia exclaimed happily before jumping off the window.

…something tells Singapore that she is in a very bad position.

…

"That's a nice workout," Malaysia said as she used a towel to clean off her sweat.

"For you only!" Singapore snapped as her hand is treated by Vietnam.

Singapore is currently covered in bandages from head to toe thanks to someone who just uses the rifle and shoot her countless times.

"I wonder why do I get such treatment for doing nothing?" Singapore sighed as Malaysia leave the clubroom searching for Indonesia.

**Author note: Broken English, broken English. Does anyone have doubts about this one? If so, please tell me. I will clarify for you.**


	6. chapter 5

**Pronunciation issues:**

“I won(w-on)!” Singapore exclaimed excitedly as she shows her card.

“It’s won(wʌn)!” Britain snapped at Singapore who again mispronounce her words.

“Won(w-on) is ok what,” Malaysia said as she gathers the cards and shuffles them again.

“It’s won(wʌn)” Britain exclaimed.

“Old man, I can't tell the difference between one and won(wʌn) if you pronounce it that way,” Singapore said.

“Who are you calling old!” Britain exclaimed.

“You,” Singapore said without hesitation.

“You git!” Britain exclaimed in anger.

“Ya (yes) lah, not as old as China but still old,” Singapore said as she drinks on her milk tea.

“Where is your proper English!” Britain exclaimed as he pulled Singapore ponytail.

“Ouch ouch ouch! Uncle, stop pulling my hair!” Singapore yelped in agony.

“Stop it Britain!” Malaysia said as she pulled Britain hand away from Singapore hair.

“Anyway, this is the library(ly-bry), don’t make too much noise,” Malaysia said softly which Britain almost fell off his chair.

“It’s library(lʌɪbrəri), not library(ly-bry)!” Britain exclaimed in anger. Which all the nations in the library looked turned around and looked at them.

“I told you to keep quiet since this is the library(ly-bry)!” Malaysia snapped in anger which Britain sighed in defeat as he thinks back where did he go wrong when raising these two.

**AUTHOR NOTE: Britain going to have a heart attack soon due to Singapore and Malaysia. Anyway, mispronunciation of words is also very common in Singlish and it’s not just English that is mispronounced, Mandarin is often mispronounced as well. One classic example is that Singaporean often pronounce ‘shi’ sounding words as ‘si’ sound and there are many more examples. You would also find other languages in Singapore that their words are often mispronounced by the local’s community.**

**Speaking of mispronunciation in Mandarin, I recall one funny incident which a person asked another person questions and the person is so annoyed is answer the word yes in Mandarin, 是shì **, a few times but then another person just stared at him in surprise as the person who answered him pronounce the word 'yes' as the word dead in Mandarin, 死sǐ **.******

**Also, if you have any doubts, please clarify with me.**


	7. chapter 6

"Singapore!" Britain exclaimed which Singapore turns her head around only to find a blond running towards her.

"Eh!" Singapore exclaimed in surprised.

"What a surprise to see you here," Britain said. They are currently at the school which it will be no surprise if they bump to each other unless it's a public holiday like today.

"Ya(meaning: yes). Long time no see Britain." Singapore replied with a bright smile which surprised Britain that Singapore is able to smile so bright with no apparent reason.

"I thought you have mati (Malay word for died) since I've not seen you for a long time," Singapore replied with her bright smile which causes Britain almost to want to strangle her. Singapore really has not changed and would definitely not smile if there is no apparent reason.

"Your mouth is still as foul as ever," Britain said clenching his teeth. Does Singapore really think he is unable to understand Malay words?

"You know how am I like, right?" Singapore smiled.

"Anyway, putting that aside, why are you still in school when today is a public holiday?" Britain asked with curiosity.

"Oh, it's just that tomorrow the ASEAN club is having a club event and I'm in charge of the food," Singapore replied.

"?" Britain looked at Singapore in confusion.

"But I accidentally forgot my notebook which contains the food allergies and prohibitions my clubmates have," Singapore said smiling awkwardly.

"I see," Britain said.

"Anyway, don't stay too late. The school will be closing soon since today is a public holiday." Britain said nicely.

"Ok, thanks for the advice uncle (Singaporean usually call older male uncle even if they are stranger)," Singapore said only for her head to be smacked by Britain.

"Who are you calling uncle!" Britain exclaimed.

"Sorry, I mean 阿公 (Singaporean Chinese usually call grandfather '阿公', but we don't usually call a really old male stranger '阿公'.)." Singapore giggled which Britain smacked her head again only for her to dodge it.

"阿公, you're going to have a hard time catching up to someone younger." Singapore laughed before running towards the clubroom.

"Get back here brat!" Britain exclaimed as he chases after Singapore.

After Britain reached ASEAN clubroom, a piece of paper is pasted on the door.

The paper was written in marker with a big phrase: "Too late" and a cheeky emoji.

For the first time in a while, Britain felt an adrenaline rush as his whole body tremble vigorously.

"Just you wait, Singapore!" Britain shouted at the top of his lung.

"Oh, you've done it again," Malaysia said as she looked at Singapore who is drinking water from the water cooler while panting heavily. After drinking for a while, Singapore used a leather notebook to fan herself.

"Anyway, Britain's face is really funny," Singapore laughed which cause Malaysia to pounder for a while.

"…you've change Singapore," Malaysia said which Singapore looked at Malaysia in confusion.

"Your grammar in the past is horrible and your sentence contains a lot of vocabulary from other languages. But now you're able to speak English properly with correct grammar." Malaysia said which cleared Singapore confusion.

"Oh, I see," Singapore said.

Singapore looked at Malaysia and took in a deep breath.

"你错啦! I'm still the same as ever what. Why you think I've change (Sentence means: You're wrong lah. I'm still the same, why did you think I've changed)?" Singapore looked at Malaysia and smile brightly which surprised Malaysia.

"Anyway, you want to Makan(eat) or not? I hungry already. Singapore said as she pulled Malaysia out of the school.

Meanwhile, Britain is frantically searching Singapore for a while before giving up.

"My back ache." Britain groaned as he rubbed his back.

"Speaking of which, I seem to be able to understand her words better now," Britain said as he recalled his conversation with Singapore.

"Guess she has changed. Man, last time talking to her was a total disaster." Britain sighed as he walked back to the student council room.

**Author note: Two things. Firstly, Singlish today is very different from Singlish in the 70s-00s (estimated range). Western influence, 'speak good English' campaign, 'speak Mandarin' campaign, high expectation for Singaporean to speak proper English and a lot more reasons has caused Singlish to fell into decline and evolved to be closer to the English language. However, Singlish did not disappear as evidence of the mispronunciations of words and the widespread popularities of endings that are still used by Singaporeans. Nonetheless, Singlish still fell into decline and evolve to be closer to English and a lot of vocabulary from Chinese dialects, Malay words and phrases that use vocabulary from different languages are disappearing and Millennials might not be able to understand them even though it was widely used in the past.**

**Secondly, most Singaporeans is able to code switch to speak Singlish in causal with friends to proper English on formal occasion or talking with foreigners.**

**Anyway, tell me if you want to clarify any doubts.**


	8. chapter 7

"Malaysia, mind helping me buy some stuff?" Singapore asked towards Malaysia who was in the living room.

"Buy it yourself?" Malaysia said without hesitation while continue to use her phone.

Singapore twitched badly and exclaimed in anger.

"Go out and buy some stuff you lazy bum!" Singapore shouted.

"That's harsh," Malaysia exclaimed but seconds later she was kicked out of the house with a list of items and her wallet.

"Hey! You keep saying I'm your younger sister and this is sure someway to treat your younger sister!" Malaysia exclaimed loudly which suddenly the door open and a book came slamming on her face.

"Gosh, she's way worse than Sarawak and Sabah[1]," Malaysia said as she picks up the list and wallet while sliding the book back in from the slit under the door.

"Let's see." Malaysia murmured as she walked towards the supermarket.

…

As Singapore was preparing meals in her kitchen, her phone rang which the caller turns out to be Britain.

"Hello, Britain?" Singapore asked which Britain shouted at her which almost cause deafness in her ear.

"What the hell is a flah (flour), brinjal (eggplant), bah-gwet (baguette), el-muhnd (almond), sell-muhn (salmon), store-berry (strawberry) and ree-seep (receipt)!" Britain shouted in anger which Singapore immediately understood the situation.

"Is Malaysia next to you?" Singapore asked which Britain replied a yes.

Singapore let out a sighed and replied.

"Sorry, those words are mispronounced all the time by both of us."

"Fixed your pronunciation!" Britain exclaimed.

"Ok ok. Anyway, ask Malaysia to buy 6 beers as well." Singapore said.

"It's cans of beer!" Britain snapped.

"Sorry, I mean bottles," Singapore said.

"And check the items in the item list. Also, would you mind staying with us for dinner?" Singapore asked.

"Dinner?" Britain said.

"Yes," Singapore replied.

"Sounds great." Another voice replied which sounds like USA.

"So that's settled." Singapore laughed.

"Anyway, is it alright if India joins as well?" USA asked.

"Sure, I love to," Singapore replied before hanging up the phone and sighed.

"…Sometimes pronunciation sure is an issue that is hard to fix." Singapore murmured.

…

The bell rings at the door rings which Singapore opens it unsurprisingly found Malaysia with Britain, USA and India. But to her surprise, Australia is there as well.

"We met Australia on the way back. Hope you don't mind an extra company." Malaysia said.

"Not at all." Singapore giggled.

"Come in," Singapore said as she opens the door fully wide.

"Thanks a lot, Singapore," Australia said.

"It's alright. Sometimes it is good to have some company." Singapore replied with a smile.

"Here's the receipt (ree-seep)," Malaysia said cheekily which Britain exclaimed in anger.

"It's receipt (ree-seet)!" Britain exclaimed which everyone laughed in unison.

"Don't worry about this old man," USA said happily.

**Author note: pronunciation issue again which may tick some foreigners in Singapore when they talk to the local community.**

**[1]: I actually wanted to write the sentence 'Wah Lau eh, she's way Jialat than Sarawak and Sabah!' but I'm not sure if Malaysians use the words 'Wah Lau eh' (Usually used to express frustrations and anger) and 'Jialat' (means very bad in this context).**

**Anyway, I've been doing the English aspect of Singlish and is starting to plan for the Mandarin aspect of Singlish. Remember, Singlish is a creole language which grammars differ greatly from English.**

**And sorry for posting this very late, I'm a bit sick for the moment.**


	9. Hiatus

**Will be gone for a while! So sorry about it, will be back in a few days to weeks time. Meanwhile, I've to focus on completing my** cardverse **story.**


	10. chapter 8

It is always a nightmare for Britain when he comes towards Singapore house for some reasons. One of it was…

Britain pressed the doorbell and waited for a while. However, after a while there is no answer, he knocked on the door and said.

"Is there anyone home?"

"Got body!" a voice was heard which Britain immediately punched the wall nearby.

"What type of grammar is that Singapore!" Britain exclaimed in anger. He can never stand Singapore totally broken grammar whenever she is casual.

"Stop insulting my local language!" Singapore exclaimed as she opened the door. She just happened to be showering when Britain came and have to quickly wear her clothes to come and open the door.

…

Another reason why Britain see Singapore house as a total nightmare is… Malaysia is frequently here and whenever the two meet casually, this happens:

"Alamak (Oh god)! I die again." Malaysia said as she is playing a game on her phone. She, Singapore and Britain are playing the same MMORPG together.

"Don't worry, try again can already," Singapore said as she is totally concentrated in playing her game on her phone.

"Today is really Jialat (bad), keep dying," Malaysia said with a sigh as her character in the game dies again.

"Fengshui (Chinese Geomancy) not good la!" Singapore said as she continues to play without betting an eye on Malaysia.

"Ya la. And are you an oldie? This age still talk fengshui ." Malaysia said.

"HK (Hong Kong) still use it what," Singapore said.

Britain looked at them as he is completely distracted from his game in his phone. How did those two able to communicate when they switched so many languages and uses totally broken grammar at once!

…

The last reason why Britain hate to visit Singapore on casual occasion is…

At ASEAN club, Britain, who is a spectator as each member present their local culture uniqueness towards other members and some spectators who are the friends of theirs.

"There are actually a lot of ways to say different types of coffee in Singapore, mostly due to a lot of language influence. Some classic example is Kopi C Siew Dai, Kopi O and more. But most are a combination of words as Kopi means coffee in Malay and C in the coffee context means evaporated milk and O means black in Hokkien and Kopi O actually means coffee black. The list can go on for long and I've sent the list and the explanation of it as well." Singapore said which Malaysia twitched a lot and almost want to smack Singapore. This is how her locals order coffee as well in their local coffee shop. Culture Stealer! (You literally have a lot of cultural similarity with Singapore!)

Whereas Britain looked at the intimidating list of how to order coffee in Singapore (Malaysia as well) and sweats drip down from his forehead. Things got worse when he looked at the tea section which is equally diverse as the coffee section. Not to mention a lot of different beverage as well and why the hell is Chinese tea called Diao Yu (Fishing in Chinese)! (Because they looked like you're fishing when you're dipping down the tea bag into cup XD).

**Author note: Malaysia and Singapore are culturally similar in a lot of ways. From the two English language creole, Manglish and Singlish, having such a good similarity to their foods and festivals…maybe not festivals and their way of life is a bit different…**

**Also, if you have any doubts, please tell me. :)**

**Anyway, sorry for taking such a long break the chapter will be uploaded every two days instead of every day. :)**


	11. chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Britain, Malaysia, Singapore and three other states of Malaysia, Johor, Malacca and Negeri Sembilan is playing Alphabet conversation and filled the room with laughter for the whole day.

***This story is totally inspired by one of The Smart Local (Singaporean YouTube Channel) video called Alphabet conversation. * (I totally encourage you to watch as it is really funny, and it let you see how does Singaporean converse to each other casually.)**

**How to play alphabet conversation?**

**There will be six players and will be split into 2 teams with three players each. Both teams will be given a scenario. The goal is to carry a conversation in alphabet order.**

**Players who take more than 10 seconds for a comeback, unable to continue sensibly or begin the sentence with the wrong alphabet will be eliminated. They will be replaced by their teammates. The team with the most survivors in each round wins.**

**_ *For the benefits of the readers, I’ll highlight the starting alphabets in the game to let the readers differentiate the game conversation and side conversation. * _ **

Six personifications have gathered around to play alphabet conversation.

“You sure you want to play this game,” Malaysia said which Singapore is totally enthusiastic about it.

“Yes!” Singapore exclaimed enthusiastically.

“First thing first, English only!” Britain exclaimed which the other five boo.

“What’s the fun if we can’t you other languages. Besides for some alphabet in your language seriously lacked vocabulary.” Malacca said.

“Seriously, you want Bahasa Melayu!” Britain exclaimed.

“Not just Bahasa Melayu, Cantonese, Hokkien, Mandarin, Tamil and all the other languages are allowed. Provided you can speak them.” Singapore said with a winked which other all agree to it.

Britain glared at them as if he wants to eat them. He is seriously at a disadvantage here as the other five players are Singapore, Malaysia, Malacca, Johor and Negeri Sembilan all of them are able to speak a lot of different languages fluently.

The game starts now.

The scenario is a girl pregnant with her boyfriend and decided to confront her boyfriend to break him the news.

The males, Britain, Johor and Negeri Sembilan were grouped together and act as the girl.

The females, Singapore, Malaysia and Malacca were grouped together and act as the boyfriend.

“Why the hell we must be the girl when there are three girls over there!” Britain snapped as he pointed the other group.

“We draw lots for it,” Singapore said as she holds up her paper.

In the end, for the game to quickly start, Britain gives up and act as the girl.

The first round begins!

Britain and Singapore start first.

“ **A** lbert, there’s something I’ve to say,” Britain said with a concerned voice.

“ **B** elle, what is it?” Singapore asked worryingly which the other four laughed hysterically. Singapore and Britain acted too well that it seems so funny.

“ **C** an you promise me not to act up once you heard about it?” Britain said.

“ **D** ang Ran (当然, Of course in Mandarin)!” Singapore said in Mandarin immediately. 当然 phonetically starts with ‘D’, so she is alright, but it make Britain twitched a lot.

“ **E** ven if it is really shocking?” Britain said worryingly.

“Stop, stop, we cannot already!” Malaysia immediately interrupted since they are laughing so hard as Britain and Singapore acted so funny.

“ **F** riends don’t interrupt us, ok? My darling Belle seems uncomfortable with your presence.” Singapore said as she shooed her imaginary friends but as she said, she burst into laughter as well.

“ **G** racious, you knew what I’m thinking!” Britain exclaimed in shocked which the whole room filled with another wave of laughter.

“ **H** ow can I not know when we’ve been dating for so long.” Singapore said dramatically which Negeri Sembilan ‘aw’ for a long while whereas other laughed out loud.

 “ **I** …” Britain pondered for a while. Just when the timer was going to be out, Britain exclaimed loudly.

“ **I** diot! Then why can’t you figure out what is happening to me!”

“Wow!” Malaysia exclaimed. This is really a funny and happening drama.

“ **J** ust…” Singapore snapped her fingers as she thinks about how to continue when the timer when out, signalling Singapore is out.

“Ah! So stressful sia!” Singapore exclaimed as she stands up while both Malaysia and Malacca move in front of one chair while Singapore sit on the chair Malacca originally sit.

“He’s quite good, getting rid an opponent so soon!” Johor said towards Negeri Sembilan as he pointed towards Britain.

Now is Malaysia vs Britain.

“ **J** essica Belle, do you really think I don’t know what’s going on with you!” Malaysia exclaimed.

“ **K** evin Albert…really?” Britain said timidly.

“Tell me which couple address their lover by their last name!” Singapore exclaimed.

“…don’t mind the details,” Johor said with his usual smile towards Singapore.

“So romantic. Sorry that I forgot to bring some tissue.” Negeri Sembilan said with an unusual cheeky voice.

Back at Malaysia and Britain.

“ **L** ove, I always know what is happening to you!” Malaysia said emotionally and even hold onto Britain hand which the other four ‘aw’ and burst into laughter again.

“ **M** ay you promise you won’t leave me for it!” Britain exclaimed and for a moment everyone thought he is really the girl who is pregnant with her boyfriend child.

“ **N** ot when I’m still kicking.” Malaysia said with a smile which the laughter still continue.

“…” Britain is totally stumped in his words. Which word should he be using that start with the letter ‘O’? Oh, oval, over, orange…

Before Britain can finish thinking, the time was up, and Britain lost the round.

“Siam (Get out of the way in Hokkien)!” Malaysia said cheekily which Britain stand up and glare at Malaysia with hostility.

Now is Johor vs Malaysia.

“ **O** riginally didn’t you say we’ll go to the same University together! Now that I’m pregnant with a baby, how are we going to go to the same University!” Johor exclaimed which Malaysia widened her eyes.

“ **P** regnant! You’re pregnant!” Malaysia exclaimed in shocked.

“Wah, this lover says he knows everything about his girlfriend but end up don’t know his girlfriend is pregnant,” Singapore said sarcastically which the others, besides Britain, burst into another wave of laughter.

Britain does find it amusing, but he does not want to act so not gentlemanly and burst into laughter as the others did.

“ **Q** uit joking! You don’t know I’m pregnant!” Johor exclaimed in utter shocked.

“ **R** eally! That’s great Belle! I always want us to have our own children!” Malaysia exclaimed ‘happily’.

“ **B** ut…” Johor paused, he was out immediately as the next sentence should start with ‘S’.

“Hello, be a bit careful can or not!” Negeri Sembilan exclaimed as he moved one chair forward.

“Try to think what’s the next letter and how you should phrase your sentence!” Johor huffed as he sits at the chair Britain just sat.

Next round, Negeri Sembilan vs Malaysia.

“ **S** eriously! You’re happy with it!” Negeri Sembilan was ‘moved’ by Malaysia words.

“ **T** o be honest, I was totally shocked by it. But I was so happy I get to be your suami(husband in Malay) and our child bapa(father in Malay)!” Malaysia exclaimed.

“Cannot already, I cannot already,” Malacca said as she rubbed her chest. She is laughing too much that her heart and stomach starts to hurt.

“ **U** m… but we’re not married yet.” Negeri Sembilan said worryingly.

“ **V** ery soon we will be married. I’ll tell your family about this and we will be having a grand marriage.” Malaysia said romantically which the other four ‘aw’ again and Singapore is seriously thinking about writing this ‘romantic’ story into a book.

“…” Negeri Sembilan is seriously stumped. How should he start the sentence with the letter ‘W’? Suddenly he recalled a trick Singapore used earlier.

“ **W** illy! What are you doing there!” Negeri Sembilan exclaimed while looking at a far distance.

This lets Malaysia has an inspiration as she still cannot think of how to starts the sentence with ‘X’.

“ **X** enia and Willy! Why are you eavesdropping on our conversation!” Malaysia exclaimed as she turns towards the direction Negeri Sembilan is looking. The whole room burst into another wave of laughter and Malacca is worst off that she seriously think she is getting a heart attack soon.

“ **Y** ou all didn’t hear anything did you!” Negeri Sembilan said to continue to talk to his imaginary friends.

“ **Z** ai (Hokkien word for talent) la! Eavesdropping on us and we can’t detect your presence!” Malaysia said as she continued to talk to her imaginary friends.

Malacca was the first one to fell onto the ground falling non-stop while Malaysia and Negeri Sembilan sighed in relieved that everything is over.

“Wait wait wait! I haven’t played yet!” Malacca said as she continues laughing.

“We can just play another round!” Singapore said as she continues laughing. No one told her this can be so funny.

“Cannot sia! I might go to the hospital for this.” Johor said as he laughs again.

“But Malaysia you very good eh!” Singapore said.

“Stress la! Keep thinking of what’s the next letter and how to continue to sentence!” Malaysia exclaimed. She is damn grateful that this is over.

For the whole day, the room was filled with laughter.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUTHOR NOTE: Sorry for posting this very late and I seriously recommend you to watch the video as it is really funny. Also, the story I write may not be funny to some and may be using a lot of proper English, hence unable to give you an overview of how Singlish works. 
> 
> Tell me if you need clarification.


	12. chapter 10 (CHINESE)

**新式华语（词汇问题）：**

“好看吗？”台湾兴致勃勃地问道。

“美极了！对吗，新加坡！”中国开行地问道。

“嗯，是蛮好看的。”新加坡回答道。

“蛮好看？新加坡，你的普通话也太差了吧。”中国说道。

“欸？”新加坡不解地看中国。

“蛮好看是什么意思？好看就是好看，要不然是很好看或挺好看。你用蛮这个字是什么意思啊。”中国回答道。

“就是很好看的意思啊。”新加坡回答道。此时的新加坡心好累啊。她的华语明明不错啊，为什么总是被这些东亚人说她的华语不行。

此时中国，香港，台湾和澳门正在新加坡游玩几天。而这几天他们的导游自然是新加坡。

此时他们正在附近的小贩中心买午餐，而台湾正在不知所措地看着一位小贩阿姨。

“小妹妹，你要吃还是包？”阿姨热心地问道，而台湾不知所措地想要找新加坡。鬼才知道‘吃还是包’是什么意思。

“清兰！（新加坡的人类名字。在公共场所下国家不适合用国家的名字称呼对方）”台湾对在不远处的新加坡叫道。

“怎么了？”新加坡走过去问道。

“吃还是包是什么意思？”台湾问道。

新加坡翻了个白眼，便对小贩阿姨回答道，：“ Auntie（阿姨的英文词）！吃的！”

小贩阿姨点了点头便快速地给台湾一碗热腾腾的面。

“所以，‘吃还是包’是什么意思？”台湾拿着那碗面，边走边问道。

“意思不是很明显吗？”新加坡不耐烦地回答道。

“不明显。”台湾干脆地回答道。

新加坡无语地看着台湾便叹口气回答道，：“你要在这里吃还是打包回家！”

台湾‘哦’了一下便把面放在他们要做的桌子上。

“你们的普通话还真不行啊。”台湾叹口气道，结果被新加坡狠狠地瞪了一眼。

……

“马来西亚！这么巧，你也来新加坡游玩啊！”中国亲切地对马来西亚说道。

他们正好回到新加坡的家，而马来西亚早已经在门口等着他们。

“啊不，其实我是来吃饭的。”马来西亚不好意思地回答道。其实马来西亚和新加坡一直都到对方的家做客，久而久之便形成了一种习惯。第一个月马来西亚会到新加坡做客吃饭，而下一个月新加坡会到马来西亚的家做客并且吃饭，然后继续轮流。这个月刚好是马来西亚到新加坡的家做客。

新加坡快速地解开锁头，转头说道，：“进来吧。”

……

“我这里只有绿茶，橙汁和美禄。你们要哪一种饮料？”新加坡问道。

“给我绿茶吧。”中国回答道。

“我来罐绿茶吧。”澳门回答道。

“橙汁。”香港无表情地道。

“美禄！”台湾开心地道。

“马来西亚，帮我拿些吸管出来 !”新加坡对在厨房的马来西亚喊道，便从冰箱拿出两罐绿茶，一瓶橙汁和三个利乐包装的美禄。（在新加坡和马来西亚美禄是绝对必备的！）

“新加坡！水草在哪里！”马来西亚喊道，差点让新加坡摔了一跤。而此时那四个东亚人疑惑地看着对方完全不明白马来西亚要水草干嘛？新加坡不是叫马来西亚拿吸管吗？

“什么年代了还用水草！”新加坡不屑地说道。

“对不起啊，我没有你那么开放！”马来西亚冷哼了一声说道。

“第三橱柜那里！”新加坡喊道。

不久后，传出了马来西亚的声音。

“哦，找到了。”马来西亚回答道，便从厨房走了出来，手里拿着几个吸管。

那四个东亚人疑惑地看着那两个东南亚姐妹。不是说要水草吗，为什么拿出来的是吸管。

“新加坡，马来西亚。你们为什么要找水草？”澳门尴尬地问道。

“给你们喝饮料啊。”新加坡回答道，不过想起来水草在东亚人的眼里是什么意思。

“我们这里水草是吸管的意思，不是水上长的草。”新加坡尴尬地回答道。

“你们的普通话绝对有问题。”香港说道。

“你们凭什么说我们的华语有问题！”新加坡和马来西亚异口同声地喊道。

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 作者的微词：要是谁敢说新加坡的华语和中国的普通话是一模一样的我真的敢和对方拼了！在新加坡，普通话是被称为华语，华人的语言。受到别的语言和文化的影响再加上60至90年代新加坡和中国很少有接触，新加坡的华语，新式华语，虽然一开始是继承了中国的普通话标准，不过久而久之则改变了不少。在新加坡的华语中，有很多词汇是在中国字典找不到的（虽然不是大多数的词汇）。有些成功的被加入到中国词典，比如‘一头雾水’这个词（对，这词是来自新加坡的！在中国普通话词典应该能够找得到。）。
> 
> 时代新加坡特有词语词典里就有多过1500个独特的新加坡字和词语，而这些词语则不是在中国和台湾使用的。
> 
> 我知道很多东亚人对新加坡华人的印象是他们讲不好华语，不过新加坡的华语已经变了很多导致他们现在的使用法和用词跟中国的普通话完全不同。这不是能不能讲好华语的问题，而是在文化上的影响，我们的华语早已经不是和中国的普通话一样了！
> 
> 这只是词汇的问题而已，新式华语和普通话的区别可是很大的。土生土长的新加坡人是会认为他们讲的华语是对的，根本不知道新式华语和中国普通话的差别很大。


	13. chapter 11

"Wah Piang  _(Damn it)_! Did her memses come already ah!" Singapore cursed as she continues running.

"Where are you Singapore!" Malaysia shouted at the top of her lungs in the corridor.

Malaysia voice shocked everyone who is walking on the corridor.

"What happened Malaysia?" India walked up and asked worryingly.

"Have you seen Singapore," Malaysia said trying not to put her outburst on India.

"Er…I did see her running towards the classroom." India said as he pointed towards a direction.

"Thanks!" Malaysia said as she quickly runs towards the direction India just pointed.

After seeing Malaysia is gone, India opens the door that was behind him.

"She's gone," India said which Singapore feebly walked out of her hiding place.

"Thanks a lot, India," Singapore said with a sighed.

…

"So, what happened?" India asked as he passed Singapore a bottle of mineral water.

"I've accidentally driven her crazy," Singapore said as she drinks the bottle of water.

"Can tell. So, what did you do to drive her crazy?" India asked which Singapore let out a heavy sighed.

…

Back in ASEAN clubroom around 20 minutes ago.

Singapore and Malaysia are continuing their usual argument about whose food is better.

"I never understand why you make your Nasi Lemak rice so colourful one. Pretty no use orh! The taste is the one that matter!" Malaysia snapped at Singapore.

"Right, when mice are running all over your place. What kind of person would choose that place to eat over a clean and hygienic place." Singapore sneered.

"Excuse me! Our place is also very clean!" Malaysia exclaimed.

"Compare to a swamp," Singapore said sarcastically.

"Hello!" Malaysia snapped.

"Anyway, location aside. Your food is totally too bland and tastes like plain water." Malaysia said.

"Excuse me!" Singapore snapped.

"Compare to my Penang, Malacca and all my other states, your foods are total failure!" Malaysia rebutted.

"Compare to your place, my food confirm has more variety. Also, my food is equally good, if not better, as yours!" Singapore snapped.

"Those variety comes from where? China? Japan? South Korea? Turkey? You never produce any of your own kind. Only always copy from others!" Malaysia snapped which angers Singapore.

"Then what about you? So authentic that your chicken rice is still your mainstream food." Singapore laughed.

"When can they stopped?" Philippine muttered towards Thailand who is sitting in the corner.

"Just let them be. It wasn't the first time they got into a fight because of this." Thailand said.

"Seriously, their culture is so similar, why is there a need to compete," Philippine muttered.

"Chicken rice is just mainstream in my place, but it's one of your national dishes there. Really strange that you would be satisfied by a bowl of rice with a few slices of chicken." Malaysia taunted.

"Not to mention your food is so heavily influence by the Chinese that I find it hard to find authentic Malay food in your place," Malaysia said.

"But I'm more racially diverse and tolerant than you. I find it hard to find places to eat at your place during Ramadan." Singapore said.

"People are struggling not to eat for the whole day! What is the meaning of letting them feel more hungry when kopitiams are open!" Malaysia snapped.

"That is just Muslim culture, take care of your minorities can anot  _(can_ anot _is a_ colloqiual _phrase which means can or cannot)_!" Singapore said.

"Then take care of your minorities can anot! You're giving Muslim a hard time as they're struggling not to eat when your kopitiams are open during Ramadan." Malaysia said.

"I can't give any preference to any races!" Singapore said as she took a bite of a samosa.

"Where did you get that samosa?" Malaysia asked.

"Pakistan give it to me just now," Singapore said.

"But it is certainly better than yours. Less oily some more. When you say you're authentic, you didn't include all the food from other culture besides the Malays' did you?" Singapore sneered.

"Hmph, my native food is very good, authentic and diverse than yours," Malaysia said but then realised one thing that is on Singapore hand.

"Take note of the word authentic," Singapore said to her phone which a beep sound was heard. Seconds later, a voice message was sent to Malaysia.

"Wait for me culture stealer Malaysia!" Indonesia exclaimed loudly in Malaysia phone which Singapore just smirked amusedly.

"Why is Indonesia also involved?" Philippine said, completely not surprised by Indonesia words.

"…Why you involve Indonesia?" Malaysia asked Singapore calmingly.

"I admit most of my food may not be authentic or native to my land. But then I'm totally sick that you would keep using authenticities when we're comparing our food!" Singapore snapped.

"Good luck facing Indonesia, culture stealer." Singapore laughed.

Indonesia has been calling both Malaysia and Singapore culture stealers as Indonesia food culture is similar to Malaysia and Singapore as well.

"Try some Panadol  _(Panadol is a brand for a type of painkiller and it_ becomes synonymous _as_ painkillers _in Singapore)_  to avoid getting too much pain." Singapore laughed but was suddenly kicked by Malaysia.

"Before I get my fight from Indonesia, take some pains without Panadol!" Malaysia said as she clenched her fists for some workout.

Singapore immediately kicked back Malaysia and quickly run out of ASEAN clubroom.

…

"That's what happened," Singapore said explaining to India.

"Why does both of you keep comparing whose food is better?" India asked.

"We're similar culturally, but the difference in our way of life has caused us to think we're different," Singapore said.

"But then, comparing whose food is better is also one of our favourite pastimes," Singapore said as she stands up.

…

Later that day, India heard Indonesia and Malaysia have gotten into a fight and Singapore was assaulted by Malaysia and is currently lying in the sick bay.

**_AUTHOR NOTE: This is an entirely different story from the one I've posted earlier._ **


	14. chapter 12

Britain is twitching badly as he overheard a conversation by two sisters, Singapore and Malaysia.

“America sibeh[1] ang moh lang ah,” Singapore said towards Malaysia.

“He’s ang moh lang[2] in the first place what,” Malaysia replied.

“Ya lah, I know. But then he didn’t inherit anything from his mother leh[3].” Singapore said.

“Talking about someone in front of me,” Malaysia smirked.

“I still preserve my Malay roots what.” Singapore sighed.

“Then what about the big numbers of Chinese and some little Indians?” Malaysia said.

“What about your Chinese and Indian minorities.” Singapore laughed.

Malaysia waved her hand signalling to Singapore to stop talking about this issue.

“Anyway, you finished your homework already anot[4]?” Singapore asked.

“Finished already. Why? Want to copy ah?” Malaysia asked playfully.

“No lah, just worry about you a bit,” Singapore said.

“Don’t need your concern. Anyway, how’s your head.” Malaysia laughed.

Singapore was assaulted by Malaysia a few days ago which causes her to lie on the bed for a few days. (See the previous chapter.)

“Thanks for your concerns,” Malaysia said sarcastically.

“Anyway, your massage is very jialat[5] as usual.” Singapore sighed.

“My back almost goes to X-ray after the massage,” Singapore said. Singapore suffer backache yesterday which Malaysia helped out by massaging Singapore back only for Singapore to kick Malaysia out of her house after a few touches.

“Don’t complain when you need help,” Malaysia said.

“Anyway, I can never get your queuing culture! Why long line and your people want to queue! [6]” Malaysia said.

“And I can never get your queue so long that they don’t care culture. People queuing means the things must be good lah!” Singapore said.

“Ha.” Malaysia laughed sarcastically.

“This is call efficient,” Malaysia said.

“You know how much time has lost when you queue so long for something when you can just buy online,” Malaysia smirked.

“I wonder your Kampung can get signals anot[7].” Singapore laughed.

“Say sorry!” Malaysia exclaimed feeling seriously offended by Singapore comments.

“Sorry.” Singapore apologized indifferently.

“Here.” Malaysia snapped, passing some chewing gums to Singapore.

“Thanks ah,” Singapore said chewing the chewing gums.

“You’re too enthusiastic about chewing gum for someone who banned chewing gum,” Malaysia said sarcastically.

“This is my house meh? [8]” Singapore said as though it was a natural thing to do.

“What are they talking about?” America asked Britain. Both America and Britain is sitting on the same table and like Britain, America has overheard the conversation. But sadly, America does not understand even a single thing about the two girls’ conversation.

“Something you should never learn about,” Britain said, suddenly feeling grateful that the US English is not as mess up as Singlish and Manglish.

**AUTHOR NOTE:**

**[1]-Sibeh: originate from Hokkien, this word belongs to Singdarin (Singaporean Mandarin), not Singlish. This word usually means very in Singapore.**

**[2]-Ang Moh Lang: Ang Moh has appeared on previous chapters before and it means the Whites in both Singapore and Malaysia. Ang Moh lang also means whites people and this phrase originate from Hokkien. This phrase is also used in Taiwan and Thailand as well, but more commonly is Malaysia and Singapore.**

**[3]-I go with the fandom and historical contexts by saying USA mother is Native America. I don’t know which empire or culture does she represent. I don’t mean it as a racist comment, but most media often neglect the Native Americans in USA. Especially Hetalia official works! It literally is like USA is an all white’s country!**

**[4]-anot: is a shorten word from two words which is ‘or not’.**

**[5]-Jialat: Very bad, originate from Hokkien**

**[6]-queuing culture in Singapore is sort of unique, I guess? Anyway, one of the Singaporean stereotypes is that people like to queue even if they don’t know what they are queuing for. This is because they believe that since there are so many people queuing, it means the things they are queuing for must be good. Or, another scenario is that people would queue for freebies. (The latter part is definite!)**

**Whereas for the Malaysian stereotypes is that when people finds the queue is too long, people would not bother to queue for it.**

**[7]-Kampung: it is Malay traditional village. Usually means village in the Malay sphere.**

**[8]-Chewing gum is definitely banned in Singapore. I checked a lot of sources and even read up on Singapore law which states that chewing gum is banned in Singapore unless it was bought for medical usage. But there are a lot of people who say that chewing gum is just banned to be sold in Singapore besides for medical use and consuming for personal use is allowed in Singapore. Anyway, I’ve seen people consuming chewing gums that are bought from Johor Bahru, the closest place to Singapore in Malaysia where chewing gum is allowed to be sold.**

**I KNOW THERE IS A LOT OF CONFUSING GRAMMAR IN HERE, SO ASK ME IF YOU NEED CLARIFICATION!**


	15. chapter 13

"Singapore, why you so Kiasu **[1]**?" Malaysia asked which Singapore stunned for a while before continuing writing her report.

"Didn't you know the answer?" Singapore said which Malaysia sighed.

"Sometimes, you've to chill. Lepak Lepak **[2]** , then maybe go to the beach or something." Malaysia said which Singapore throw an unopen document to her table.

"Since you're so free, why don't you start doing this report?" Singapore smile gently which Malaysia immediately shut her mouth.

...

"Why am I so Jialat **[3]**  today?" Singapore sighed as she calls an ambulance for Indonesia who was unconscious.

She and Malaysia got into an argument and Malaysia got so agitated that she threw her water bottle to her. However, Singapore dodges it, but the water bottle hit Indonesia who just happens to walk into the room. Indonesia immediately fainted, but next to Indonesia was Philippines and Philippines immediately chased after Malaysia who causes her best friend to be unconscious.

"Better let Malaysia pay the hospital bill. I definitely not paying for her!" Singapore snapped.

...

"Malaysia, please learn the rule when you come here!" Singapore snapped as she brings Malaysia out of the customs checkpoint. Malaysia bought gums while crossing the Johor-Singapore Causeway. Normally, officers would just close an eye. But the officer who checks Malaysia was a bit stricter that Singapore has to come and bring her out.

"Sorry lah, but your rule so strict that I still can't get used to it," Malaysia said.

"You are lucky this is just gums. You definitely won't get off the hook if this is illegal drugs." Singapore said as she narrows her eyes to Malaysia.

"Haha, don't be so stiff. Sometimes you have to chill, Singapore." Malaysia laughed.

"By the way, you seriously didn't give me any face when you sentence my citizen to death  **[4]** ," Malaysia said.

"I can't allow anyone to traffick drug into my place. No matter who is it, once they're in my land, they follow my rules!" Singapore snapped.

"Ya lah, ya lah," Malaysia said in agreement.

"But a death sentence is a bit too harsh. Can't you be a bit lenient?" Malaysia said which Singapore smack the back of Malaysia head.

"The amount of drug he traffick is totally enough for a death sentence. Also, I don't want to talk about this anymore." Singapore said as she quickly walks away from the custom while Malaysia quickly follows up.

**Author note:**

**[1]-Kiasu: Hokkien phrase which means scare to lose.**

**[2]-Lepak: Malay word for rest.**

**[3]-Jialat: Hokkien word for bad luck.**

**[4]- Recently Singapore sentence a Malaysian citizen to death for trafficking drug into Singapore. It was usually a normal thing to do in both countries as drug trafficking is not tolerated. However, recently there have been talks in Malaysia about abolishing death sentence and Malaysian government appeal to Singapore to not sentence the man to death. But the man is still sentenced to death in Singapore.**

 

**Sorry for posting this very late. Also, I don't feel like continuing this story. To the readers out there, do you think I should continue this story? Please tell me about it.**


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